Naming rules
After debating and deliberating the full 9 months, we had two boy names and a girl name picked out when we went to the hospital with Howie. That should leave both a boy and girl name for this one and you'd think we'd be set. Not so. I'm not feeling the love for either of those names this time around. We've had to start our list from scratch and I've spent much of the last 21 weeks pouring over various name websites, books and lists. I've been agonizing over popularity, nicknames, how a name fits with our last name and equally important, with Howie's name. Matt has spent much of that time vetoing the names I deemed worthy to share with him. There are a few basic rules that automatically put a name out of the running.
1. ambiguous gender- If you have to ask if it's a suggestion for a boy or a girl, it doesn't make the cut.
2. mulitple or creative spellings- I've spent my whole life spelling my name aloud. If there are mulitple possibilities, the name is ruled out. Further, whatever name we choose will use the traditionally accepted spelling: no cutesy y's for e's and/or i's or x in place of cks.
3. blending of consonants- the name cannot end in the same letter/sound as our last name begins. The same goes for the middle name.
A less hard and fast rule is that of popularity. While Matt doesn't dislike his name, he's not a fan of having such a popular one. Being in the top 10 is a near automatic disqualifier, and even top 100 is iffy. I like not having any other moms call out Howie's name at the playground. We also have to consider whether a name is on the upward curve, or if it will date a name- such as Jennifer, Jessica and Ashley from 70's, 80's and 90's, respectively.
It may not seem to be the case, but we set the bar pretty high with Howie. We didn't realize how hard it would be to find compatible names for subsequent children. Now, I'm not committing to any more than this one, but we've been looking at both boy and girl possibilities since we don't know the sex yet. Howie's name is simple, no-nonsense and classic without the pretense that surrounds the names of its era that have enjoyed a resurgence of popularity (Henry, Charlie, and Jack come to mind). It may seem like an old man name, but it reminds us of a certain old man whose memory we hold dear. It has everything we want in a name- sentimental without being cutesy or too obscure, uncommon without sounding made up or being too dreadful (there's a reason Egbert and Humphrey don't get used anymore) and mostly, it fits us.
That doesn't sound too hard to replicate, right? Look through the family tree and pick a few contenders. It's not so simple. No other name carries the same appeal. Every name that is a possibility falls into one of the four rules, or the person is still alive. That probably shouldn't make a difference, but it seems a little weird to me to name a baby after someone who is still alive- at least for a first name. Going back any farther in the family history removes any emotional ties and we're left with plain older names. See above for my thoughts on picking a name based solely on it being older (hint it rhymes with pretentious). I'd love to use a family last name as a first name, but the choices aren't there. The Czech, German and Norweigan surnames in our lineage simply don't translate into first names for cute little kids or professional adults.
So, here we are. stuck. Mostly over my hang-ups over what makes a name a good choice, but stuck still the same. We hope to cut the possibilities in half after an ultrasound next week, but we still won't know until we meet him or her. We knew Howie was a boy for months before he was born and Howard was on the top of the list the entire time. We still didn't know until it was time for him to be born whether it was the name we wanted to use. Also, we probably won't be sharing our top contenders this time around either. At least this time I can answer truthfully that we haven't picked one yet.
1. ambiguous gender- If you have to ask if it's a suggestion for a boy or a girl, it doesn't make the cut.
2. mulitple or creative spellings- I've spent my whole life spelling my name aloud. If there are mulitple possibilities, the name is ruled out. Further, whatever name we choose will use the traditionally accepted spelling: no cutesy y's for e's and/or i's or x in place of cks.
3. blending of consonants- the name cannot end in the same letter/sound as our last name begins. The same goes for the middle name.
A less hard and fast rule is that of popularity. While Matt doesn't dislike his name, he's not a fan of having such a popular one. Being in the top 10 is a near automatic disqualifier, and even top 100 is iffy. I like not having any other moms call out Howie's name at the playground. We also have to consider whether a name is on the upward curve, or if it will date a name- such as Jennifer, Jessica and Ashley from 70's, 80's and 90's, respectively.
It may not seem to be the case, but we set the bar pretty high with Howie. We didn't realize how hard it would be to find compatible names for subsequent children. Now, I'm not committing to any more than this one, but we've been looking at both boy and girl possibilities since we don't know the sex yet. Howie's name is simple, no-nonsense and classic without the pretense that surrounds the names of its era that have enjoyed a resurgence of popularity (Henry, Charlie, and Jack come to mind). It may seem like an old man name, but it reminds us of a certain old man whose memory we hold dear. It has everything we want in a name- sentimental without being cutesy or too obscure, uncommon without sounding made up or being too dreadful (there's a reason Egbert and Humphrey don't get used anymore) and mostly, it fits us.
That doesn't sound too hard to replicate, right? Look through the family tree and pick a few contenders. It's not so simple. No other name carries the same appeal. Every name that is a possibility falls into one of the four rules, or the person is still alive. That probably shouldn't make a difference, but it seems a little weird to me to name a baby after someone who is still alive- at least for a first name. Going back any farther in the family history removes any emotional ties and we're left with plain older names. See above for my thoughts on picking a name based solely on it being older (hint it rhymes with pretentious). I'd love to use a family last name as a first name, but the choices aren't there. The Czech, German and Norweigan surnames in our lineage simply don't translate into first names for cute little kids or professional adults.
So, here we are. stuck. Mostly over my hang-ups over what makes a name a good choice, but stuck still the same. We hope to cut the possibilities in half after an ultrasound next week, but we still won't know until we meet him or her. We knew Howie was a boy for months before he was born and Howard was on the top of the list the entire time. We still didn't know until it was time for him to be born whether it was the name we wanted to use. Also, we probably won't be sharing our top contenders this time around either. At least this time I can answer truthfully that we haven't picked one yet.
posted by Valarie at 2:40 PM
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