okay, maybe not

Last week I was thinking that I could empathize with single mothers who chose to terminate an unexpected pregnancy. The first trimester sucks. sucks bad. If I wasn't in a committed and supportive relationship, it would make it that much harder. And that's not even to mention the overwhelming responsibility that would be raising a child on your own. "Yeah," I thought as I lay moaning on the couch, unable to spend any extended amount of time in a vertical position, "I wouldn't ever do it myself, but I can see why someone would choose not to do this."

I was relating those thoughts to Tedi Wednesday night after my appointment. They sounded hollow as I said them. I had thought I could maybe see a glimpse of their thoughts and understand the choice just a little. Then I heard the heartbeat again. No, no I can't. I cannot begin to fathom the selfishness in that decision. I can't wrap my mind around that, no matter how miserable of difficult it is making your life.

I've always been anti-abortion, but maybe a little more in the pro-choice camp. I think it is wrong, and I won't do it, but I won't tell you that you can't. I guess that's still my stance, but maybe a little more in the "it is reprehensible" and "it's your choice, but really, how could you choose that?" camp.